10 years. It’s been 10 years since my dad went to heaven. 10 years of not getting to hug him. 10 years of not hearing his voice. 10 years of wondering what his opinion would be on matters of the heart. 10 years.
I’ve been thinking about how I wanted to honor him today. And the best way I know how to do that is to talk about him. With that said, I’m going to share 10 things I learned with my dad’s help!
HOW TO MAKE OTHERS LAUGH – If there is one thing my dad was known for, it’s being a jokester. He had the natural ability to make fun of someone and they loved him even more because of it. He was the ultimate prankster, finding out other people’s kryptonite and doing everything in his power to lovingly irritate them. He knew I hated the sound of styrofoam and placed a block of it in my car under my emergency break. I was forced to wiggle it out while making the sound I hate the most. What a gem!
HOW TO BE RESPONSIBLE – My dad was a great teacher. He didn’t try to do it all himself but instead, made it a learning experience for me. He used to make me call the pizza delivery guy and order food. He sat with me while we looked for jobs in the newspaper (it’s that printed thing people used to read), he showed me how to wash my car with a special shammy, he taught me how to drive with no hands using my knee (shhhhhh), and how to make a s’more while camping (clearly the most important of them all).
HOW TO MAKE MEMORIES – He was an adventurous guy. He loved camping at the beach, riding dune buggies in the dessert, going for long rides on his motorcycle, and more! He was always up for making new memories with those he loved. I have so many fond memories of family trips to Disneyland, San Elijo State Beach, the Silver Strand and more.
HOW TO SERVE OTHERS – My dad’s way of showing his love was by his acts of service. He would wash my car when I was busy studying inside, go out of his way to help a neighbor who needed to finish a home project, or offer his trailer for someone in need of moving furniture. You name it – he was there.
HOW TO WORK HARD – My dad typically worked 2-3 jobs at one time for most of his life. If he wasn’t selling ice cream at Dreyer’s, he was driving people around town in a fancy limo or working at Ralphs. He got up early, stayed late, worked his way up the corporate ladder without a college degree, and was well respected by others.
HOW TO BE PERSISTENT – From the day he met my mom, he was persistent in pursuing her…especially since he was 8 years younger and they met when he was 19. Say what! He was the type who knew what he wanted and wasn’t afraid to go after it. Clearly this worked in his favor because my mom’s a catch.
HOW TO LAUGH AT YOURSELF – One of the reasons he was so funny was that he was willing to laugh at himself. He never took life too seriously and always found a self-deprecating way to make others feel more comfortable around him. I loved the times when he wasn’t able to finish telling a story because he couldn’t stop laughing. And he was a silent laugher so his nose would scrunch up and he’d barely get a word out. So we’d all just wait impatiently for him to calm down long enough to finish the story.
HOW TO BE RESOURCEFUL – My dad loved to maximize every space in his garage. He used every nook and cranny to hang yard tools, skis, helmets, beach chairs and more. He made our dog a Halloween costume by spray painting a white t-shirt with black spots so our golden retriever was dressed up as a Dalmatian (poor Jakers). He loved taking the everyday item and making it better!
HOW TO FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE – This lesson has felt more personal to me this past year than ever before. My dad was diagnosed with cancer and had surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation. When he was given a short time to live, he chose to continue treatment to prolong his life. He fought with grace and strength. I only experienced a glimpse of the pain he must have felt doing chemo and it makes me respect him even more now. His ability to fight and remain hopeful paid off as he was able to attend my wedding and give me away. He passed away 10 days later…on Mother’s day. Feels full circle this weekend.
HOW TO LOVE – This one seems obvious at this point but it’s oh so important. He showed my what it looks like to love unconditionally. To fight for the ones you care for, to extend forgiveness, to be a consistent friend, to be selfless and to share your gifts with others. I will go even further to say everyone who knew my dad loved him, which just shows how special he was and how freely he loved others.
Friends – I recognize some of you don’t share my experience. Some of you can’t say 10 things you even like about your dad. Some of you may have never met your biological dad. Maybe you have been deeply hurt by your dad. Some of you haven’t spoken to your dad in years. I can’t speak to the hurt you’ve experienced but I can say I’m sorry for your pain. For those of you who do have a present dad in your life, I encourage you to take a mental note of the things your dad does that irritates you. And for a moment, think about life without your dad. You may get annoyed at the way he coughs after he eats dairy or the fact that he never closes the closet doors. But there will come a day when he’s not around anymore and you will miss those things…because they remind you of him. I would LOVE to see my dad’s garage right now and see what he chose to hoard rather than throw away. I would love to look in the fridge and see that he opened a new gallon of milk without finishing the last of the other gallon.
Regardless if you have a dad in your life right now, just know you have a Heavenly Father who loves you so much. My list of things I love about Him would far surpass 10 things. If you ever want to know more about that Father, I’d love to share! And today, I’m going to open a new gallon of milk without finishing the old one. Cheers to you dad.
You Are Not Alone 